Technology – Jiayong Pte Ltd Releases its First Handheld Model
Technology – Jiayong Pte Ltd Releases its First Handheld Model
Jiayong Pte Ltd, main and sole investor for ABC news as well as newstonight.blogspot.com, has launched the company’s first hand held device ever.
Model name: ATM 0912
This first of a new series of handhelds seeks to satisfy one thing that all handhelds cannot do as of yet, not even the o3 ENLARGED or iPACK 6563.
Yes, you might have guessed it already, it is an on the go payment machine. With the launch of this new series, one will never have to need to bring a stack of notes to the Mama store, neither do anyone need anymore chips, coins or notes when they play mahjong.
How does all this work?
First, key in the name and the NIRC number of the recipient and the amount of money to be transferred. Next, swipe your NIRC on this handheld. Finally, the handheld will automatically dial up to the system and deduct or add the amount as appropriate. All these take no longer than 15 seconds.
This new sleek model comes in black only, suitable for both men and women. We have tried dropping it about 1000 times from 13th storey before the handheld’s LCD screen got a scratch. Our military tester has testified to that the handheld will not break down even under water. The ATM 0912 was tested by a shark and few days later the shark died of pain after breaking its teeth trying to bite this handheld. Part of the ATM 0912 became flat though – the battery. Certainly a must for the road warriors.
Thus, you can now bring this handheld out to anywhere to do whatever you want. The super-strong signal was beyond any of our imagination. We’ve tried testing it on the Moon and the voice was crystal clear. Currently our testers are flying out to Jupiter to test how far the signal could go.
Buttons are spaced out adequately with the swipe at the sides. The swipe will serve also as a security swipe in case you would want to lock your phone securely. The screen is wide enough for comfort viewing. With 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 true colours, feast your eyes on the screen instead of the real thing.
Also, this handheld runs on a WinDoors XP, therefore the owner can install from useful programs like Micromedia Nightmare-weaver, Adobi Pornshop to games like Grand Sex Auto 3 and Metal Worm 5.
Want to play high end games like Shattered Cell and World of Sexcraft? No problem. Get yourself a 1GB Gay-Force 10 Ti graphics card at $10 and install into your ATM and you’re up running. Playing games on the go? No problem. Connect up to 100000km with the new redtooth technology at about 1Gbps with your friends and get whacking!
This handheld supports mp3, wma, ogg, wav, midi, almost any music format that you can think of. Together with a storage space of 80gb and a SD, MMC, CF, memory stick drive, almost unbreakable super amour, you can listen to music as you jog, work in the office or make love in the bedroom. No worries, this handheld also acts as a loudspeaker and boombox as well. FM radio is included too. Time to hear your favourite DJ boom as he speaks.
Zboz, PangSeh 3 (PS3), Gamegirl Advanced, Nightmare-cast games are not a problem either. With a CD DVD RW Combo and a cartridge reader ultra combo you’ll find yourself lack of games to play.
Ok ladies don’t worry. We all know handhelds do vibrate. This is just the thing you need! Foldable into smaller pieces, all you need is to on the switch and do the thing!
Great news for men too. Preinstalled also is the wmv, avi, mpg, divx player, keeping entertaining on the go. An internet explorer has also been pre-installed. Jiayong Pte Ltd has come up with a new plan for all. Download 10 Gb at $1.00. Now there’re unlimited things you can do in the toilet!
Also, the 21.0 Megapixel camera works great. Home porn is no longer a problem for Singaporeans anymore with the video camera function which records in Mpg instead of the low quality .3gp format. Pre-installed with Adobi-Premierere, edit your videos like a pro! One moment you could be humping away happily, the next you’re gone!
Accessories will be given or can be bought too. A sound isolation earpiece with performance as good as one worth $1000 in the market will be included, just pull it out from the side and you’re listening.
For ladies there will be this ATM-skin in case you’re afraid it’d smell.
One charge of the battery would last you ten days, however there are 100 backup batteries in the handheld, so its recommended you charge once every 2-3 years.
All these in one at $250. Who can ask for more? Can our editor now to get one for yourself today!
Terms and conditions apply.
Ok here's our editor with the handheld. See how happy he is? Get yours today!
The ATM on your palm.
Jiayong Pte Ltd, main and sole investor for ABC news as well as newstonight.blogspot.com, has launched the company’s first hand held device ever.
Model name: ATM 0912
This first of a new series of handhelds seeks to satisfy one thing that all handhelds cannot do as of yet, not even the o3 ENLARGED or iPACK 6563.
Yes, you might have guessed it already, it is an on the go payment machine. With the launch of this new series, one will never have to need to bring a stack of notes to the Mama store, neither do anyone need anymore chips, coins or notes when they play mahjong.
How does all this work?
First, key in the name and the NIRC number of the recipient and the amount of money to be transferred. Next, swipe your NIRC on this handheld. Finally, the handheld will automatically dial up to the system and deduct or add the amount as appropriate. All these take no longer than 15 seconds.
This new sleek model comes in black only, suitable for both men and women. We have tried dropping it about 1000 times from 13th storey before the handheld’s LCD screen got a scratch. Our military tester has testified to that the handheld will not break down even under water. The ATM 0912 was tested by a shark and few days later the shark died of pain after breaking its teeth trying to bite this handheld. Part of the ATM 0912 became flat though – the battery. Certainly a must for the road warriors.
Thus, you can now bring this handheld out to anywhere to do whatever you want. The super-strong signal was beyond any of our imagination. We’ve tried testing it on the Moon and the voice was crystal clear. Currently our testers are flying out to Jupiter to test how far the signal could go.
Buttons are spaced out adequately with the swipe at the sides. The swipe will serve also as a security swipe in case you would want to lock your phone securely. The screen is wide enough for comfort viewing. With 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 true colours, feast your eyes on the screen instead of the real thing.
Also, this handheld runs on a WinDoors XP, therefore the owner can install from useful programs like Micromedia Nightmare-weaver, Adobi Pornshop to games like Grand Sex Auto 3 and Metal Worm 5.
Want to play high end games like Shattered Cell and World of Sexcraft? No problem. Get yourself a 1GB Gay-Force 10 Ti graphics card at $10 and install into your ATM and you’re up running. Playing games on the go? No problem. Connect up to 100000km with the new redtooth technology at about 1Gbps with your friends and get whacking!
This handheld supports mp3, wma, ogg, wav, midi, almost any music format that you can think of. Together with a storage space of 80gb and a SD, MMC, CF, memory stick drive, almost unbreakable super amour, you can listen to music as you jog, work in the office or make love in the bedroom. No worries, this handheld also acts as a loudspeaker and boombox as well. FM radio is included too. Time to hear your favourite DJ boom as he speaks.
Zboz, PangSeh 3 (PS3), Gamegirl Advanced, Nightmare-cast games are not a problem either. With a CD DVD RW Combo and a cartridge reader ultra combo you’ll find yourself lack of games to play.
Ok ladies don’t worry. We all know handhelds do vibrate. This is just the thing you need! Foldable into smaller pieces, all you need is to on the switch and do the thing!
Great news for men too. Preinstalled also is the wmv, avi, mpg, divx player, keeping entertaining on the go. An internet explorer has also been pre-installed. Jiayong Pte Ltd has come up with a new plan for all. Download 10 Gb at $1.00. Now there’re unlimited things you can do in the toilet!
Also, the 21.0 Megapixel camera works great. Home porn is no longer a problem for Singaporeans anymore with the video camera function which records in Mpg instead of the low quality .3gp format. Pre-installed with Adobi-Premierere, edit your videos like a pro! One moment you could be humping away happily, the next you’re gone!
Accessories will be given or can be bought too. A sound isolation earpiece with performance as good as one worth $1000 in the market will be included, just pull it out from the side and you’re listening.
For ladies there will be this ATM-skin in case you’re afraid it’d smell.
One charge of the battery would last you ten days, however there are 100 backup batteries in the handheld, so its recommended you charge once every 2-3 years.
All these in one at $250. Who can ask for more? Can our editor now to get one for yourself today!
Terms and conditions apply.
Ok here's our editor with the handheld. See how happy he is? Get yours today!
The ATM on your palm.
Reported by ABC news at 5:38 AM
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